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(written by Kazoo)
The Colonel often sang the refrain when "the song" was requested.
Major Maxwell Muffin found himself in quite a stew
The enemy had trapped him all around.
In such a dire predicament, whatever could he do?
What possible solution could be found?
Hopelessly outnumbered, his odds but one in ten,
Major Muffin bravely called these orders to his men:
(CHORUS)
Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers!
I'll drop mine if you'll drop yours!
Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers!
Down below your knees!
Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers!
That's the way to open doors!
Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers!
Whoops! I feel a breeze!
Little Lucy Lovekins was the fairest of the fair
And all the men in town desired her hand.
They'd gather at her doorstep from nearly ev'rywhere,
And Lucy thought each one of them was grand.
"Please darling, choose among us!"
They would plead in one, loud voice.
So Lucy asked a favor that would help her make a choice:
(CHORUS)
It really doesn't matter
Which direction that you face;
The lowering of lingerie
Works well in either case!
Wicked William Wigglestick had lived a life of sin
And now he stood at Heaven's pearly gate.
Saint Peter checked the records, and refused to let him in,
For Bill had earned a very different fate!
"O horror!" cried poor Willie,
"Pray not eternal fire!"
`Twas then he heard the singing of the sweet angelic choir:
(CHORUS)
And so if mere existence
Is too much for you to bear,
Forget about existence;
Rather bare your derrière!
(CHORUS)
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